


The Very Secret Diary of Ginevra Weasley

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: One Shot, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-21
Updated: 2006-08-21
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:58:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Dementors that play cards, very odd things hidden in Luna Lovegood's trunk and a tutu wearing Draco Malfoy singing. Just another year at Hogwarts for our favorite female Weasley.





	The Very Secret Diary of Ginevra Weasley

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

** The Very Secret Diary of Ginerva Weasley **

 

**FIRST YEAR**

**August 1st**

Who's jumper ends up on the cat whilst Harry Potter is in the house? Ron put it there. He will pay. A nice Itchy Charm on his underwear shall do the trick...yes that will.

**August 28th**

Tally for this month:  
Times elbow has gone in butter at the sight of HP - 9 times  
Times I have tripped over my own two feet because of HP - 12 times  
Times mind has gone completely gooey at sight of HP - Lost count around 549

**September 1st**

Ooooh, found pretty pretty book! Sorry to abandon this diary so quickly, but as soon as the creepy leather diary becomes tiresome, I shall use this one again.

**June 5th**

Tom Riddle deserves to rot in the Chamber of Secrets with only Hagrid's cooking to munch on. Ooh. Madame Pomfrey does make the best hot chocolate. No wonder Dumbledore gets hot chocolate up here rather than with the house elves. Pesky little buggers anyways. Constantly all up on you for getting you things. I'm not that demanding. Oy! More hot chocolate!

**SECOND YEAR**

**June 31st**

Harry blew up his aunt. Not very good behavior for a living hero. But I was in Egypt! Bwahaha! Mum tried to stop me getting into some of the tombs, but I snuck out and managed to turn Scabbers into a potato when he surprised me in the hallway trying to escape. I would try to escape too, if I had to live with Ron every day.

**September 1st**

Had a very lovely card game with Dementor 5,604,396 on the train. He was very nice to me. He even stopped inhaling my happy memories. He told me that he liked my hair. He even attempted a snatch at it because it was so shiny but I got him with a nice Bat-Boegy Hex. I beat him 5-2 at Speed.

**September 4th**

Bwahaha. Malfoy has gotten his arm torn apart by a hippogriff named Buckbeak. Have gone down to Hagrid's hut to give Buckbeak a nice dead ferret I found in Luna Lovegood's trunk. Don't know why she had a dead ferret in her trunk though...I didn't ask either.

**September 15th**

Hid Malfoy's sling in the Owlery. Malfoy is having a nervy spaz, because now he can't say that his arm is bleeding out of control to Pansy. Why would anyone be impressed by a gushing arm wound is beyond me. They are Slytherins though...must keep that in mind. They've always been on the odd side. Salazar supposedly liked to play with yarn at midnight because he thought they had magical properties.

Harry Potter _still_ hasn't noticed me.

**October 31st**

Sirius Black decided that he needed to vent his anger at the Fat Lady, leaving all us in the Great Hall tonight. I had to run around to make sure not to get a spot next to Neville who has been eying me lately. Managed to give him the slip by covering myself completely in the horendous purple sleeping bag that Dumbledore conjured. What IS it with that man and the color purple?

**November 6th**

Dementor 5,604,396 has come looking for me with all his little friends to attempt to beat me at cards, and discovered I was at a Quidditch match. Caused Harry to fall off his broom and nearly die. Again. Dumbledore thinks it is because they were hungry. Me thinks I'll just let him keep thinking that.

**Novemeber 7th**

Have sent Harry a card of Percy singing in the shower. I thought he was going to have a laugh at it...but instead he thinks I'm being serious. That's what you get for acting like a helpless female as an evil wizard drains the life out of you in an ancient chamber forgotten for centuries and a giant basilisk that wants to kill you, and getting Harry Potter to come rescue you. I told Tom I shouldn't write the whole "her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever" part for that was bound to get someone to come after me.

**November 25th**

Could have SWORN I saw Ron dressed in a bright pink dress prancing around the Gryffindor Common Room singing "I'm So Pretty". I think Fred and George spiked the pumpkin juice at dinner...

**December 18th**

Harry Spotting in Hogsmeade. Was under table in Three Broomsticks. I'm not going to ask.

**December 25th**

I've gotten my usual horde of presents this year. A sweater from Mum (the color of a sick tangerine), from Fred and George, a picture of Ron doing his "I'm So Pretty" Dance. Just to prove that I'm NOT crazy. And many other things. Must go oggle at Harry without him knowing.

**December 26th**

Note to Self - Never, ever take Divination. The professor is completely wonky.

**Febuary 2nd**

Oliver Wood has lost it completely. He's wandering the halls, muttering to himself. Would be a potential for my Harry-replacement if it wasn't for his complete obsession to Quidditch. He keeps mentioning jinxing a Firebolt. As if anyone in Hogwarts could afford a Firebolt.

**Febuary 14th**

I should have guessed. The Firebolt is Harry's. I knew it. Valentine's Day. Was going to send present to Harry, but decided firmly against it when realizing it had not worked last year to my favor. I still maintain that Fred and George sent that Valentine Dwarf, not me. Stupid Draco Malfoy had to make it all about me, didn't that great overgrown prat?

At least I'm better at writing this year.

**Febuary 28th**

Ron's moaning and complaining that Scabbers has gone missing. Or apparently killed by Crookshanks, Hermione's squashed kitty. Gave the cute wittle squashed kitty a nice big piece of salmon. Again, finding of the weird objects in Luna's trunk. At least Scabbers never gets handed down to me.

**March 2nd**

We beeeeat Ravenclaw, weeeeee beeeeat Ravenclaw!

EAT THAT CHO CHANG!

Why is Harry looking at Cho like that?

**March 3rd**

Neville, the stupid gooey-eyed prat decided to prance around and leave the passwords where anyone could find them, and Ron almost died.

Why didn't he? Then I could have the highest room in the house!

Harry Potter still hasn't noticed me...

**March 15th**

Could have sworn I saw two Hermione's today...I'm losing my mind. Did I have a mind to begin with?

Ooooh, Harry-spotting! Harry-spotting!

Yes, no mind. None. Why must these uniforms be so baggy? I want to see Harry's arse!

**April 10th**

Buckbeak is going to be excuted for trying to kill Malfoy.

Saw Malfoy prancing around in a pink tutu when he thought no one was looking singing "Ding Dong the Hippogriff is dead" when OBVIOUSLY Hippogriff has too many syllables for that song.

Prat.

Also happen to know he as a rubber duck he calls Mr. Snuggles.

Don't ask.

**May 4th**

WEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOON!

Bwahahaha. Stupid Slytherin. Anything you can do, we can do so much damn better!

Malfoy started crying like a baby. I think he had his thumb in his mouth. Could have been wishful thinking.

Harry Potter was too caught up in the crowd to notice me.

Merf.

**May 29th**

Are tortoises supposed to breath steam? Someone's final exam has escaped into the second floor girl's bathroom. Mrytle has made it her pet.

**June 6**

Apparently Professor Lupin is a werewolf...

DUH!

Who didn't figure that out for nine months?

Snape let it slip at breakfast with a large banner in pink flashing writing. That man has no concept for subtlty.

**June 6th, again**

Harry Potter still hasn't noticed me.

There's always next year...


End file.
